Defined boundaries, less stress & more joy…

December 9, 2019 By DeanaFarrell Leave a Comment

How do you define boundaries, have less stress & more joy in your life?

Well, I can tell you right off the bat, it begins and ends with belief and commitment. For many of us, we make the answer to this question overly complicated, yet the solution can be fairly simple.

It’s the execution of that solution that trips most of us up. A lot.

Depending on how strong those two elements, belief and commitment, are in your life, is the degree of your defined boundaries and measure of stress and joy.

Take a look at that first element, belief.

Belief means that you accept something to be true or exists. It also means, you have confidence in that truth or existence.

Accept something as truth, and there’s suddenly more confidence in making decisions and even taking action.

Get distracted by an opinion or an obstacle, what happens? That belief begins to waver. The cycle of wavering is not a fun place to be and definitely not easy to get out of! (here are some tips about feeling stuck just in case you find yourself in a cycle of wavering)

Solidifying the basis of our beliefs becomes very important to achieving our biggest goals.

The stronger our belief, the stronger our commitment (that “other” element) to pursue that achievement. (whatever that may be)

I’ve written about commitment before, but didn’t tie in the belief factor, this is what I believe to be the separator of what’s achieved and what’s left wished for.

Solid commitments lead to…defined boundaries.

Defined boundaries lead to…less stress.

Less stress leads to…more joy.

Can you imagine a life with defined boundaries, less stress and more joy?

Being committed means that you are dedicated to a cause, an activity or quality.

We sure can be dedicated to paying bills for “stuff” we “need”, being “seen” in the “right areas/places” (oh, and our kids too) in person and online…and the list goes on.

Are we as committed to what’s growing us on the inside as much as we are busy “growing” what people see on the outside?

That’s where the rubber meets the road my friend, and where our beliefs reveal what and where we are truly committed to achieve!

Working on matching my beliefs to my commitments right there with ya,

This week – focus on defining your beliefs and how committed you are to them, then see where it leads!
Need some help? Maybe it’s time for Prioritized Focus Bootcamp.

Do you know who you really are beyond titles, labels and history?

September 7, 2019 By DeanaFarrell Leave a Comment

Who are you? What’s your “identity” beyond titles, labels and your history?

Seems an odd thing to question who you are, but I think it’s a powerful question. One that is often overlooked in the midst of our current culture pursuing personal growth.

We can answer:

what we do
what we are working, wishing and hoping for
who means the most to us and
where we’ve been and how we got to where we are

But, who are you? That’s a potentially loaded question.

Think about it for a moment. Can you answer that question without rattling off your rank, title or accomplishments?

I’m a wife, mother of three, volunteer, employee, Jesus lover, entrepreneur, reader, writer, daughter, sister, friend, p-uber driver (that’s hip for Mom Taxi…parent uber – get it?), encourager, divorced, ministry outcast, a talker, coffee lover, ball cap wearing, Chuck’s kicks, curly haired mess-terpiece making progress on my BIG goals! This list could go on for miles, as I’m sure the same is true for YOU too!

Some of those examples listed reflect my history and the labels put on me by others, some I totally own proudly, a few generic and others I’m still growing my faith in order to pursue more boldly.

I discovered years ago that when you get your identity right, everything else is figureoutable!

One of the first things I’m proud I get to do with my Prioritized Focus Bootcampers is to help them define their core values. We dig past the “normal” ones, to those that reflect WHO they really are created to BE! It’s not always easy or comfortable – getting gut-honest with yourself never really is, but so worth the process.

Once you are able to identify your identity beyond titles, labels and your history – you become a powerful decision maker.

You will find yourself very clear on the direction you want to go, even if you’re not sure of what it will take to get there, because you know WHO you need to be in order to get there.

Stop trying to fit in. If nothing else today, take some time to ponder this BIG question “Who are you?”.

Working on making progress toward what I need to do in order to live out who I was created to BE – right there with ya,

Here’s a bit about who I am – if you’re curious.

Dream Big, Plan Small

August 24, 2019 By DeanaFarrell Leave a Comment

We all have a big dream. Maybe even several depending on the season we find ourselves.

Some may have a clearer picture than others. Some may seem closer than others. And yet, some may have just thrown in the towel on their once was big dream.

How about you? Where’s your dream right now?

Is it on the forefront of your mind all. the. time. and you can’t stop thinking about it?

Maybe it’s just “somebody that you used to know” because you no longer believe it’s even possible or relevant to your life anymore. (well, that’s sad)

Well, I for one am a BIG DREAMER.

Some days I feel like my big dream is so close I could taste it and others you may as well call me Charlie Brown…

No matter where you find yourself on this Big Dream spectrum, there is one universal tip I can offer that will help you get closer and that is –

Plan Small.

Yep, that easy and that difficult at the same time.

Think about it, can you eat a whole cake in one bite, paint a ceiling in one stroke, wash, dry and fold your laundry all at once…get the picture?

Here are three things you can do right now to plan small when it comes to your big dream:

Begin with the end in mind
This means that you take time visualize what that Big Dream looks like as accomplished.
Write it down
What things need to happen 1st, 2nd, 3rd…keep making that list in order to map out your plan.
Choose one area of focus
If you suffer from S.O.S. this is not going to be easy, but just look at what you can get serious about for 30 days at a time.

No matter what your big dream is, know that without taking steps to make progress, it will just remain a dream!

Working on making progress on my Big Dream right there with ya,

Psst! This could be a huge help in getting you started on finally getting serious about your big dream.
I’m cheering for you and will continue to share resources, tips and helps as I myself discover and implement the ones that work for real life peeps like us! Keep going & growing friend 😉

How you show up now will show up in your future

August 17, 2019 By DeanaFarrell Leave a Comment

Visualize your highest self. Then start showing up as that person.

Have you ever done this?

Visualization is a great practice.

Think of it as the training wheels for the life you want. If that sounds too boring, try it as your alter ego.

Sounds and even feels strange at first, but here’s what will start to happen:

You will begin to think like your “future self” would by making decisions that will move you toward that envisioned goal.
You’ll start acting like your “future self” by the way you converse with people, where you influence and are influenced.
You will find yourself doing the things your “future self” would do in order to continue to show up as that person you see.

By visualizing who you want to be on a regular basis, it actually helps you BECOME the person you envision.

We spend too much time focusing on what we are not, what we lack, what “needs to happen first” instead of WHO we need to be in order to have the life we want.

Yet, while we are busy looking out the window on the struggle bus driven by our friend, Excuse, another season of actual life has passed us by. Don’t know about you, but I’m tired of being on this bus! If you are currently on the struggle bus, tell the driver (Excuse) to stop and let you off because you’ve got a new ride and you’re the driver!

Why not play this out using your “future ride” as the practice test?

What do you SEE yourself driving in 5 years? (I know exactly what I plan on driving in 5 years. Got a picture of her and everything.)

Sounds silly, but its scientifically proven that VISUALIZATION works. (take a few minutes to watch Mel Robbin’s explanation of this practice)

Your brain doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s not; it waits for YOU to tell it. Through emotion.

This is why it’s so important to not just write your goals, but visualize them, take time to FEEL the emotion attached to that vision.

Know why? Because your brain will start to protect what is familiar. Hmmm…is this why we are so stuck in our comfort zones?

Begin making your dreams FAMILIAR so that your brain will begin recognizing what “belongs”. You’ll start to “see” things differently because your brain will nudge you…“hey, isn’t this what we are working towards, looking for, who could help us…”

I challenge you to SHOW UP as your future self today, this week, this month and see what happens.

I hear you. “What does that look like Deana?”

It means when I look in the mirror my inner dialogue says, “I am so fit and healthy” and my day reflects what a fit and healthy person eats and refuses to eat/drink. (Not my current state by any means, but COULD be)
It means when I answer the question, “what do you do?” I answer that I instigate women to live their best lives through encouragement and practical strategies that make sense for their crazy, busy lives. (Not what I say now, but should be…because i BELIEVE it)
It means when I’m driving my *2012 Yukon and pass my dream car, I confidently smile and say to myself…”Hello there!”
*this was my dream car that I had visualized myself having after I made a huge jump in title and salary in my then direct sales business – I finally got my 2012 Yukon in 2016. Womp, womp, womp – yep, just ’cause you practice visualization doesn’t mean it happens right away. However, when your vision does happen – you recognize immediately that its YOURS. When I was in the market for a new car I saw her near the service department, no sticker or anything. When I called to inquire, they told me it JUST came in and hadn’t even been detailed or put it out yet. Someone must have known not to bother, because it was for ME!
It means when I’m with my family, I’m WITH my family. Not thinking about work, feeling guilty about deadlines.. and when I’m in work mode, I’m not feeling guilty that I’m not with my family. Because…I planned and scheduled both and 100% present! (I’m getting better, but certainly needs work)

Whew! This may have been an overly long example of how you show up now will show up in your future, but I know that it works. Plus, I’m really tired of allowing fear and excuses rule me. You?

Working on showing up as who I need to be for the future I want to see right there with ya,

Let’s SEE your dream in the comments.

What’s your VISION of your best life and how are you going to start showing up as that person?

Find your purpose or follow your passion?

August 10, 2019 By DeanaFarrell Leave a Comment

Raise your hand if you get confused when it comes to the difference between finding your purpose and following your passion.

(I see you, and you, and you…)

When it comes to the pursuit of happiness so many of us have been given the advice to just...find your purpose or follow your passion. Apparently we are to believe if we do this, we will not only find happiness, but success too. (woo! hoo! I’m in!)

Hmmm, then why are so many of us still unhappy and not measuring up to our picture of success?

So many of us are unhappy, unsuccessful and still can’t find our purpose or follow our passion because we’ve defined them wrong.

You don’t find happiness, it’s a state of mind. (and a D.O.S.E.)

Success is a journey and a process that is different for everyone. Newsflash, there is no exact formula, but there is one main ingredient and it’s called work.

Here’s what I found when it comes to the differences between purpose and passion.

Purpose

the reason for meaningful work
the result benefits others
has a focused aim
gives significance

Passion

the result of meaningful work
is about YOU (not necessarily selfish, but about you and what energizes you)
can change (one day you’re into painting, the next gardening)
gives satisfaction

Are we getting clearer or is there still some confusion?

Maybe you have the question…“Can my passion be my purpose?” because that is such a popular “success strategy” isn’t it?

Well, here’s how I would sum it up for you and then you decide.

Your purpose is not about your worldly goals – career, wealth, or recognition, but about having an impact.

Your passion can be a vehicle, but it’s not a destination – it’s the color behind your dreams.

We can use our passions in order to energize and refuel us in order to do the things necessary to become the person we need to be in order to achieve our purpose.

Our passions are personal and colorful and keep us from getting bored and giving up. Our purpose sets us apart from each other, yet for the benefit of each other.

Untangling the difference between passion and purpose right there with ya,

No matter your pursuit, something is always going to be in the way distracting you!
FREE printable – the 3 Steps to Defeat Distraction (every time, no matter what’s pulling at you)