When it comes to high achievers and goal getters, there are two feelings that can drive more people to lose direction or take action than any other….the feelings of guilt or of purpose.
Are you guilty of these two drivers?
Think about the last time you were determined to do something – WHY? What was the motivation behind that determination?
Was it to spite someone who said (whether verbally or implied) you couldn’t do it? I’ve been there and it’s good motivation at first, but then when things get hard, it gets that much more difficult to press on toward your goal because your bitterness creeps into they way of your betterness! (yes, I’m going with that non-word)
Were you made to feel you had no other choice? Ah, the “guilt-trip”. Did you ever stop to think how many people have this power over you? The power to make you feel guilty. If you have a list of guilt-trippers, I’ll tell you how to find another mode of transportation…know where YOU are going!
Losing sight of YOUR direction is when others can easily re-direct you to go theirs instead.
When you are trying to people please, left yourself with not enough time or alternatives to get to your desired goal, you spin in this crazy cycle of feeling guilty! I don’t know about you, but I’m at the age where spinning makes me ill and recovery takes way too long! So how do you stop the spinning?
Purpose. Your purpose has got to go beyond people pleasing and lack of proper planning.
Purpose is the “gain” behind the pain that you’re willing to endure.
I don’t know about you, but I’m more willing to endure the pain of exercise and extra salads BECAUSE the gain of the better energy and appearance.
Over just having an event coming up where I feel I have to “appear” better than so and so. I know me well enough to know that the moment the event is over, so is my motivation to “impress”.
BUT, if my motivation is to be the best ME for ME, I’ll look and feel good no matter who’s “watching”. Plus, I know I’ll resonate with others as confident and proud of ME which is more impressive than trying to impress.
I’m more willing to endure the pain of protecting my time on my calendar BECAUSE the gain of consistently being where I want to be is more powerful than ending up at the dead end of disappointment.
Knowing our boundaries, priorities and sweet spots protect us from getting burned out and others from being disappointed from our not meeting their expectations.
So by saying NO to something, it means you know where you are going and that you’re not willing to be guilt ridden either from yourself or the other person.
So how about it high achievers and goal getters, which feeling is driving your determination to your destination these days? Guilt or purpose.
I hope it’s that latter and you find the courage to prioritize your focus to find, set and keep your boundaries!
Enduring the pain to increase my gain right there with ya,
Sometimes we just need to assess where we ARE before we can say or plan anything – I get it! If that’s the case, check these out: