Relationships: Focus & Flexibility with a Side of Wit & Wisdom

string of photos of relationship goals

Now I’m not going to pretend to be some kind of expert in relationships. That sentence alone is laughable! My past relationships would likely be measured on a scale from dangerous to disastrous. And my current ones are somewhere between comfortable and downright restorative for my soul. 

Deana with a silly face

I’m sure you have your own relational rollercoaster to contend with, so I’m not here to prod into your issues, nor am I looking to predict or project what you should do about them.

However, I hope to bring some insight, encouragement, and intention when it comes to the relationships you have as well as those you want to grow.

Simple concept, but not easy. Not easy because 

  • We can’t see past our own life’s wants and needs
  • People are moody, hello!
  • Values are often mismatched which lead to unrealistic expectations and
  • Disappointment and frustrations

In this post we are going to look at that common frustration we call, relationships. Specifically, we’re going to take a closer look at what it takes to keep yourself (and maybe others too) sane and making progress!

Frustrating relationships is something that I cover in Chapter 5 of my upcoming book, “You’re A Beautiful MESSterpiece.”

Join the weekly e-newsletter to stay updated!

Focus on the priorities in your relationships.

Prioritizing what’s important in your relationships is important! We know this, but I think too often we fail to clarify

  • Expectations
  • Limits/boundaries
  • Active listening
  • Goals

Faith, life and business all require some level of relationship in order to work. The question becomes do you want those relationships to just function or thrive?


Think of what a thriving relationship with God looks like when your faith is strong. What things do you have to do to keep that faith strengthened and unwavering?

  • Find out more about the person you’re in a relationship with (give Psalm 145 a read and see what God’s like)
  • Be curious, don’t take other’s word for YOUR God, take Him at His
  • Ask, Seek, and Knock (more about this HERE)

Family and friends can be quite the tricky relationship to navigate. Sometimes the bond with a non-family member is stronger, and you begin to harbor guilt or resentment about it. Here’s the thing, just because someone has the title of family doesn’t mean they want to be supportive, loving, or even part of your life.

As hard as it is and may be to hear, learn, or live with, but friendships are not the only relationships that can be toxic. Family members can be just as hurtful, vengeful, and manipulative.

Don’t allow a role or title to mislead you into
accepting or tolerating a bad relationship.


Business connections can have their own versions of ups and downs, good and bad too. It becomes quite the challenge, or triumph when it comes to creating an environment that is both authentic and persuasive. Are you able to focus on the T.I.E. that needs to be made between you and your customers?

Whew! That’s a lot of relationship focus right there. Which is why it is so important to have and give lots of grace.

Flexibility in your partnerships can keep them from breaking.

There’s a saying about goals being flexible, but not optional. I love that perspective because it reminds the goal-getter to think differently when it comes to perseverance.

cell phone image with a heart smiley face covering the picture and details how to get the free printable to better choices

I mean, how many times do you want to just give up when a goal doesn’t go according to plan? 🙋‍♀️

Maybe it’s your feelings fault when that happens. I get it, emotions can really hop into the driver’s seat when it comes to our goals! The same is true in our relationships at times.

Take control of your feelings so that you can make better choices.

Flexibility means that you’re willing to bend. Bending does not equal being taken advantage of or walked over. 👈somebody needed to hear that! And to that end, compromise doesn’t mean you’ve conceded either.

There’s nothing better in a relationship than some welcome wisdom with a side of wit.

When it comes from the same person, that’s a bonus!

If you want quick lessons there are usually two ways to learn: the hard way or the easy way. Both can be equally effective.

You can learn something from your own mistakes, failures, and experiences or you can learn by observing someone else’s mishaps, flops, and attempts.


Having inside jokes, sharing funny stories, being with someone who’s lighthearted, and being able to bring or have humor to a relationship is FUN. I don’t know about you but life is serious enough on it’s own, so I welcome witty peeps!

Are you bringing enough FUN into your interactions?

How much better do you take instruction, guidance, and help when you’re open to it? Add some fun to that mix and you likely have a relationship that you enjoy!

I hope that you have that wise friend that you can go to without question or judgment. A friend that loves you enough to give you the advice even if it’s not what you want to hear. One that listens to understand, hugs as long as you need to, and prays for you without even having to know the details because the One who can “fix it” already does.

Taking responsibility for your part in the relationships you have lost, gained, or growing is what will

  • Keep you focused on your priorities
  • Enable to adapt to change, be flexible
  • Be your joy within the journey by having fun
  • Enjoy the people you’re with because they’re the right ones for you

Wherever life takes you, I hope that you have prioritized focus, flexibility, wisdom and some wit for the ride!

keeping focused, flexible, fun & my smarty-pants on right there with ya,

name signature Deana
Deana MESS passionate imperfectionist

Hey, are we email friends yet? Get on the newsletter for the latest blogs, podcasts, BOOK updates & more! Join the e-newsletter –>HERE

Leave a Comment